Updates
It's been a long 5 months since I updated my blog. Alot of things happened over these 5 months and I dun really know where to start or what to write about. Anyway, I have learnt alot over these months, may it be good or may it be bad.

Let's see....

We shall start off in 29th December 2005. This is the day I got officially attached to "C". Things were sweet as always and I would say I was happy. We spent alot of time together and often go for meals and movies. It was the 1st time I felt that this could work out and I was prepared to eventually introduce "C" to my friends. My friends could see the glow in my face.

Things went smoothly over the couple of months, till my exams started to draw close. It was somewhere in Feb that I started to feel really tied down. I have been training alot for IVP2006, having to undergo at least 3 trainings a week and having my Final year project due. The stress really got to me. I always thought that having someone there for you would relieve the stress, but somehow it wasn't as I expected. Everytime after getting back to my room after training, I would get so tired. The training really took my mind off of things during this period, but having to go back at 10pm to shower and then wash clothes was a chore. By the time I could sit down in front of my desk to do some work, it was close to 1 am. I really did not have the energy to talk to "C". I know I was being unfair, as we barely spend much time together during that month. We barely talked cos I guess it was my fault. But I did not really want to entertain the thought of chatting over the phone for an hour. My temper was short and I guess "C" had too much time.

I tried explaining to "C" that I needed to concentrate more on my work and other stuff and can't split my time. Initially, "C" said it was understandable and told me to carry on. But I guess it was not the case. There is a sense of insecurity in "C" and demand for my attention started to kick in.

Issues that bugged me
(1) I stayed in hostel during the week days and "C" stays in Pasir Ris. It is not feasible to travel to meet. "C" sometimes demands that I meet even though I can't.

(2) There is a constant need to chat over the phone, be it Day or Night. "C" would sometimes sms me and ask can we talk when it is known that I was having lessons.

(3) We have very little topics in common or interests in common. I like doing things sponstaneously and I like doing things like KTV, Blading, going out. But "C" prefers to stay home and watch DVDs.

(4) We have different taste in food, in the sense that I love seafood but not so for "C". I like going to eat local stuff like at hawker centres and cheap but good food. "C" prefers to go restaurants. It is good that "C" financially stable but I do not like things be paid for me. I don't like the idea of being provided for in a relationship.

I was so bothered by everything that I told "C" that we should take a break from things and let me concentrate on my exams and projects first. I did not feel good at all when I said this, but I guess it was more unpleasant for "C". I could feel the hurt and the anger through the phone and we ended on a rather sour note. I don't really blame "C". In fact, I think it is mainly my fault. I won't find excuses for myself, but maybe I have been single for too long that I do not know how to love anymore. Sad isn't it?

Anyway, I have been single since and I do enjoy the freedom. Yet sometimes u still yearn for something more. I did not contact "C" for more than a month and neither did "C" contact me. I guess I m on the blocked list on the MSN. Can't say that I don't deserve it. However, on the 11th of May, it was "C" birthday and I just drop an sms to wish happy birthday. I was rather surprised that there was a reply. At least now that we are on a more peaceful mood, we managed to chat alittle. Not much but just enough to know that there isn't any bad blood between us. It is sad to know that we did not last long, or shd I say I did not last long. But I truly don't see the 2 of us together 10 years down the road, if we can't even survive the 1st 6 months.